Catching Up

So I have a lot to say in the next couple of posts. The first thing I'll say though, is that I really shouldn't be writing this at all right now because I really need to write an essay for class. I can't concentrate on that essay though, so I've decided to maybe try and open up my writing mind by writing in my blog.

Saturday night was definitely a night of first for me, but it was also disappointing. The day started out really well though. I went to brunch and got a strawberry waffle with whipped cream that was absolutely delicious, and then I went to the mandatory meeting for new greek members at my school with all of my other new members. The meeting was pretty boring at first, but when we were told to actually plan a greek event on campus it got a little bit more interesting.

All of us new members from every greek chapter on campus were divided up into 4 different groups. I think we had about two to three people from each chapter in each group. My group was group 1 and we went all the way up to the third floor of the building. Once we were in our room we broke into three smaller groups to brainstorm ideas. My group came up with the idea of planning a BBQ with a movie afterwards and a firework show. I doubt the fireworks would work, but the BBQ and movie I could see happening. We also thought to combine this idea with another groups idea of a field day. We would set up different greek oriented field games, like an obstacle course that had some of the greek signs on it. I like this idea, but I don't know how many students outside of our greek system will actually show up for it.

As a large group we also discussed an idea for a greek only event. They thought it would be really awesome to play "Assassin's" using every chapter. This game can apparently go on for days and how it works is that every single person is given one target and they have to try and kill this target using some sort of method. When the kill their target, then the take on their old targets new target until there are only two people left. Then these last two people try and kill each other and it starts to become a big group thing where entire houses can end up trying to help the last two people. This idea can happen from one year to the next where the winning person gets a trophy to keep in their house. I suggested that the way people are killed is by shouting out their middle name or something, but a lot of people didn't really like this idea. One of the directors though really liked it so I think they might try and come up with something similar to it.

After the new member meeting was over me and a couple of my friends decided to decorate white t-shirts for the black light dance that night. At first I was really unsure as to what I wanted to do, but eventually I figured it out. I cut the sides up and then tied them back together again, and then I braided neon pink and greek yarn together and wove it down the sides. I also cut the sleeves shorter because it was a guys shirt and the sleeves felt weird on it and wove my braided yarn around the edges of that. Afterwards I then pulled my braided yarn around the collar of my shirt as well. To top it off I drew swirly pictures on it in highlighter. It ended up being pretty cool if I do say so myself, even though it took me 3 hours to complete. After that I ran to dinner and ate really fast and then came back to Shepard to shower and get ready for the dance.

After I showered and got dressed I went over to DG and got ready with my friends there. One of my friends Party-Gurl did my make up for me and then we waited around to hear from a guy in Sigma Chi about going over to pre game the dance. I had a minor headache at the time and so I drank two glasses of water while we were waiting. At one point we got impatient though and decided to just head over to Kaneko (a large dorm on campus) and have a couple shots of Rum.

When we got to my friends dorm room to find the alcohol they got out the shot glasses and filled them up with the remaining rum in the bottle. At first I was afraid to take the shot and missed it when my friends did it, and so they teased me about it quite a bit. They cajoled me into actually taking the shot later on though when they decided to take a shot with literally what was left in the bottle which meant that I only had to take half a shot. I didn't make a face or cough when I took the shot though so they were pretty proud of me.

After that we finally heard from the guy in Sigma Chi and so we headed over there to drink some more. In his room he had a big bottle of vodka set up with salt and limes ready to be used. Party-Gurl and my other friend Montag Girl took a couple more shots of vodka and then had me take two half shots. At one point I didn't tip my head back far enough and so the guy laughed at me a little bit. That was all the alcohol I drank that night, and honestly, it didn't even get me slightly buzzed. It might have for half an hour, but even then I didn't really feel any different from normal. By the time the dance started though Party-Gurl and Montag Girl were completely trashed. They could hardly walk normally let alone dance.

The boy from Sigma Chi took care of Party-Gurl for a while until two girls took over and took her back to their dorm. I was left to watch out for Montag Girl though. She wanted me to dance and have fun so she kept trying to push me into other guys around me and I thought that was pretty awkward, but it was fun to watch her. She also liked to tackle people and tell them exactly how much she loved them. At one point though she kept getting completely overwhelmed by the heat and had to sit down. One of the girls from my sorority came over and ended up taking her home. I was then left to fend for myself in the group of people there. I quickly sought out a couple of the girls I knew there and one girl Dancer actually helped teach me how to grind dance. She ended up asking a guy if he would "dance with my friend" and he said "ok sure". I honestly have to say that that was one of the most awkward dances ever. He was too tall so his dick wasn't even close to the right spot and I just didn't know what to do, so after half a song I just ended telling him "sorry, but I have to find my friend." He understood and then for the rest of the night I just walked around and danced with Dancer.

After the dance I hung out with Dancer and another new member at DG for a bit, but then they decided it was time to go home. I walked Dancer to her work so that she could pick up the stuff she had left there and then went back to my dorm.

When I got back to Shepard everyone was still awake and so I sat down to talk to them for a little bit. Then I went to change and whip off my makeup. Kitten though that I wasn't going to come back out after I left to go change into PJ's but I surprised her by actually returning. When I got back though we started talking about the Tarot readings that one of my other friends was doing for people. I asked her for a reading of my own and she said ok.

My question for the reading was this "Am I doing the right thing to get a guy?" and throughout the duration of the reading basically the cards said that yes I am and that the only thing holding me back is my own self confidence. I don't honestly trust the cards completely, but I still like to be told that by some people. I hope I do get a guy soon, especially since this weekend is Valentines day. It's going to suck going around without any boyfriend and watching all the other happy couples walk by.

I ended up sleeping in late on Sunday and then I did homework all day with Dancer. I had a new members meeting to go to that night, but after that I stuck around DG and did more homework for other classes. I ended up getting back to Shepard at around midnight and went strait to bed. I couldn't sleep though last night and so I ended up falling asleep around 4 am. I was supposed to get up and go to a work out at 8am this morning but I was so exhausted I just texted Javelin and told him I couldn't do it. I also ended up procrastinating on my homework and barely got it done in time for all of my classes today. I still have an essay to write, but I just can't seem to start it.

There has been something on my mind ever since I had a conversation with someone yesterday. I feel like I've sort of been betrayed by a close friend, but at the same time I understand why they did it. Someone now hates me because of something I said to a friend about them. None of the good stuff I said about him made it to him, just the bad, and now he thinks I'm a complete and total bitch. I don't like anyone hating me if I don't deserve it. What's worse is that he thinks that what he was told was a direct quote from me, but it was actually the person paraphrasing me. I honestly think that this guy can be a good guy, I just think that he is a little bit judgmental. When I was around him he made me feel very insecure, and I've heard people talk about him since then and they've told me bad stories.

Soon my friend might date this guy though and I'm seriously worried about this. Two of my friends have stopped being my friends for a time, simply because of their boyfriends and I don't want this to happen with this girl. I value her as one of my absolute closest friends, but I'm seriously worried. I try to be supportive of all of my friends unless I truly believe to the core of my being that the guy they're dating is cruel and abusive. I want to give this guy a chance, but now I don't see how it's possible because he won't give me a chance.

I also got accused of not being able to get over grudges because there is one guy that I hate more than any person in the world. This guy is B3's roommate and he thinks its funny to make me cry. So he's done it time and time again. I accepted a friend request from him last week to see if maybe he'd change and maybe I could give him a chance again, but no he ended up being an ass to me again. Even though he could have just talked to me on his own account, he got on B3's computer and talked to me there. I could tell that he was making fun of me, but at the time I thought it was B3, and B3 knows I have body issues. He thought what was being said was harmless, but it ended up hurting me a lot more than expected. When I told him this last night he tried to cheer me up, but it just wasn't working. I will admit though that he did get me to smile a couple of times.

Last night just wasn't a good night. I want to talk to my friend that might date this guy, but I honestly don't want to cause more drama by doing so. Well, I guess I'll just see what happens.

This was literally all I could write about during Creative Writing today, it's consumed my mind and I need to get it out somehow.