So I'm writing this post to see if maybe I'll be in the writing mood afterwards and actually able to do my essay that's due tomorrow at 11 am. I'm actually pretty pleased with how my essay is progressing thus far, I just have no motivation to continue with it. I also thinks it incredible that I got to quote my math book in my essay for children's classics. I love this class.
Anyway, I figured I'll tell you about what happened yesterday. I honestly don't remember much of the actual day time activities except that I skipped math in order to work on my essay that was supposed to be due by 2:30 yesterday, but instead I didn't get it finished and my teacher gave me an extension to tomorrow at 11. During class I just wrote my essay and got only one paragraph done in an hour.
All I remember after that is hanging out with Kitten and a couple of other people and just procrastinating on doing homework. Oh, I watched Glee as well yesterday with the group.
The one thing I really do remember though is that around 11:00 Wits asked for help on an essay he was writing on the French Revolution, and so I got to go and hang out with him and his girlfriend in the library. I had never met his girlfriend before so I was a little anxious, but I went anyway. She was really nice and a lot of fun. She helped me pick on Wits and so we got pretty distracted. I basically only got the bare minimum of my homework done while I was there and Wits was only able to write two paragraphs in 3 hours. This was really bad because today I had a French test (that I think I did badly on...) Eventually though I made the mistake of mentioning Kitten to him and the fact that she is going to be joining DG as well if she can. This launched ranting time.
I really enjoy it when Wits rants about people because his sarcasm is so incredibly funny, but it sucks that he is still incredibly frustrated by her. He ranted about her for a couple hours and eventually he had to say goodbye to his girlfriend because she needed to go back and go to sleep. After that Wits and I decided to migrate back to Shepard because we didn't want to be overheard ranting about Kitten. When we got back Wits continued to rant for a while longer and talked about how he just wanted her to stop being so hypocritical. After a while the rant finally died down and we started watching Rockcappella videos and started just talking normally.
In that moment I decided it was time I told him exactly why I'd been frustrated with him for so long. I showed him a conversation I'd had with Draco last week where I basically said that I didn't think that Wits had ever really been my friend or cared about me because of how easy it was for him to brush me aside this semester. When Wits saw that he immediately tried to rectify the situation and he told me that he isn't trying to ignore me, he just thought that no matter what I would be his friend that he thought there were many other friendships he thought he needed to fix. He had no clue how much I was being hurt by him and he told me that he has always cared about me. That he still thinks about me, it's just that he's been incredibly busy and that he associated me with Kitten and so wouldn't really talk to me because of her.
I really hate how many people dislike/ed me because of hanging out with Kitten. She's a great person and all, but she's really starting to screw my chances with friends. Not many people want to put up with her poutiness and superiorness that she puts up all the time. I can deal with it because I've had friends like that before and I know how to ignore it to some extent, but people literally don't talk to me because I hang out with her.
Anyway, back to where I was before. Wits and I talked for a really long time and we ended up rectifying our friendship and now we're on pretty good terms. I've actually hung out with him a lot in the last day and we're going to try and plan one time a week when I'll either play games with him or study. I like this plan, but we're having an issue figuring out where we're going to hang out. I don't want it to be in Shepard because of Kitten, but apparently people in Baxter (where his gf lives and where he hangs out all the time) dislike me because of him ranting to them. Apparently I'm known as "crazy" there, which bothers me. So I think for now we're going to hang out in the library once a week.
Wits also told me about my nickname in Baxter last night right before I was going to go to bed around 5am and because of the stuff that's been happening this week with my other friends I took it harder than I normally would. I don't like when people start hating me when they haven't even met me. It literally drives me insane and makes me think that I really need to change myself in some way. I can't fix myself though when I don't even know what I did wrong. One of the girls in Baxter was in my colloquium class (the mandatory freshman class) and I've known for a while that they don't like me for some reason, but last night it was confirmed, Wits doesn't know why though. I'm just frustrated with all of these things happening this week. I try and think of myself as a good person, but when so many people outside of my group of friends thinks I'm annoying, idiotic, bitch I don't know how to act.
Wits noticed that he had upset me by telling me about my nickname though, so he wouldn't let me go to bed until he was satisfied that I wasn't upset anymore. So I was up another hour later than I had originally said I would be. I ended up going to bed around 6am and got 3.5 hours of sleep last night.
I think soon I might go to Bishop (the health center on campus) and get some sleeping pills for the nights that I can't sleep because of my mind being too busy. I just have so much on my mind recently that it is really affecting my sleep schedule. Staying up until 6am last night, and then going to bed at 6pm and re-waking up at 10pm doesn't help it any either. I really need to get back on track to become healthy, but I don't want to become dependent on medications in order to sleep. Three people have told me to go though, so I think I might anyway. I have an infection I need to be taken care of anyway.
I guess it's time to actually start on my essay though. *Sigh* Talk at you all later. Toodles.
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