So to start off where I left off, B3 and I started "going steady" on May 10th, 2010 and lasted for four and a half months (to be exact 4 months and 10 days). I loved him completely, and even though now it's been almost 4 months from our break up I still love him.
Anyway, the first month of our relationship progressed fairly slow. We would hang out every couple of days after school, but B3 was very school oriented and demanded that we do our homework before we actually hung out. He also pushed me to actually do the chores my mom asked of me and to clean my room. One time when he came over to my house he wouldn't go into my room because it was so messy. Needless to say, after that I kept it fairly clean.
Most of the time B3 and I hung out at his house. I loved his house so much. It was pretty tiny, but it was perfect for his family. It was just him and his mom living there and so lots of room wasn't needed. B3's room was pretty small, but it was also super clean. The bed was always made and there was never even a trace of clothing on the floor. He had an HDTV in his room directly across from his bed with an X-Box 360 attached to it. (B3's biggest hobby was playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2) His house also had a small kitchen, living room, bathroom, master bedroom, and an attic. B3 used to sleep in the attic, but after a while he moved down into the the bedroom he had when I dated him. One of the best things about his house was the amount of property that he lived on. It wasn't too much, but it was enough to have a lot of fun on.
When B3 and I hung out at his house we would normally just watch movies or play video games, but the more memorable times I spent with him weren't doing either of those things. Instead we would go outside. There was one time where we went outside to do our homework because it was just a spectacularly sunny day. I loved the feeling of the sun on my face and the quietness of his home. It was also particularly nice because I could lay my head in B3's lap. After a while it became apparent that not much studying was actually going to happen so we decided to just relax. That day was the day that B3 noticed that I really don't like bugs. He had spotted a small centipede on the ground and picked him up to show me. When I scooted away a little bit, he decided it would be fun to start throwing the small bug at me to try and get it to land on me. After a while he tired of this and instead just started tickling me. I started to run away and considering he was much taller than me, I didn't get very far before he caught me. At one point he pinned me to the ground and mercilessly tickled me until I could hardly breathe and then let me up.
Another memorable time I spent at B3's house would be when I took his circular rubix cube and ran away outside with it. B3 followed me and started chasing me down trying to get the rubix cube. I had stolen it because I wanted to try and solve it, but B3 wanted me to do something different so he kept trying to steal the cube from me. Him being basically OCD caused him to have to solve it when he took it from me, which enabled me to grab it from him again. The sad part is that once again he was much stronger and faster than me so he got it back fairly easily. At one point he had chased me behind the small barn and ended up pinning me to the ground and tickling me until I released the rubix cube and then he ran off with it. I wasn't able to get it from him after that, but one time when I got close he decided to chuck it all the way across his field. I took off running as soon as he did that and tried to grab the cube before he got to it, and after skidding on the ground I managed to catch the cube. By this time we were pretty tired of running, so we just laid in the grass next to each other both of us having given up on solving the cube.
The feeling of just laying there next to him made me so incredibly happy. It wasn't the giddy kind of happy either. It was the kind of happiness that comes when you realize that there really isn't anything in your life that's going wrong or anything that bothers you. I felt safe and loved in that moment and I never wanted it to end. For as long as I live, I'll remember exactly how good I felt laying there in the grass.
The third most memorable time I spent and B3's house would be when he taught me how to dirt bike ride. I'd been putting it off because I was slightly afraid of how it would feel to ride a bike and what would happen if I went to fast and got hurt, but eventually I caved to him and let him teach me to ride. He tried to make me wear all of the protective gear, but I refused to wear the breast plate because it was designed for a boy and it just felt awkward on me. Instead he just settled for me wearing the helmet and starting out slow. He explained to me how to make the bike go and stop and how to turn. He even showed me how to switch gears, but I was never good enough to actually go up to a higher gear than 1. There were many times when I was learning how to ride that when I'd stop I'd lose my balance and the bike would fall on top of me and B3 would have to come and pick the bike up off of me. One time he told me that every time that the bike fell on me gas would dump out. After that I was even more careful about dropping the bike because I didn't want to waste any gas. That determination actually ended up being bad for me, because the next time I lost control I accidentally made the bike fall the opposite direction it had been going and in the process my knee scrapped across the pedal. B3 was pretty freaked out after that fall, and when I showed him I had been scratched he went into mother mode. He made me go inside and clean up the wound, and even though I hate bandaids he made me wear one anyway. After that he wouldn't let me ride the bike anymore that day. He promised he would let me on some other occasion, but he never ended up happening and I know there's no possibility of it happening in the future.
Now, from the very beginning (meaning before B3 and I started dating) my friends were very pushy about getting all the details of my time with B3. Hot-Head in particular wanted to know every single little detail and she demanded to have the run down of the day as soon as B3 and I parted. Every time I'd hang out with her too, she'd ask me one particular question: "Has he kissed you yet?". For the first two weeks it was a no, but when I mentioned to B3 that Hot-Head kept pestering me with a question I wouldn't tell him, he just assumed it was about kissing. The next time I hung out with him after that he kissed me when we were saying our good byes. I was so surprised I didn't even know how to react. He was my first kiss and in the moment I didn't kiss him back. The kiss wasn't like the ones you see on the movies, it was just basically a peck on the lips but it was enough to make me shocked and happy. My response though was to just say good bye really fast and duck into my car. It took me two weeks after that to actually kiss him.
The night I kissed him was actually our 1 month anniversary and the day of our graduation. We were on the bus going to the all night party that the graduation people had planned for us, and B3's head was resting in my lap when I decided to just lean over and kiss him. After that first kiss it kind of broke my fear and kissing came easily after that, at least the innocent peck on the lips kind which is all we did at that point in time.
That night on the bus with him was also another one of my favorite memories with him. At one point I fell asleep curled up on his stomach. I remember how safe I felt right then and how happy I was. That was the night that I decided I was in love with him, but I wasn't going to be the first one to say it. I didn't want to scare him away by getting clingy or forcing him to commit even more to me before he was ready.
It took exactly one month more before we actually said "I love you" to each other. On July 10th B3 and I decided to start our day by hanging out at his house. When I showed up I gave him a card I had made for him, and he gave me a teddy bear from Build-a-Bear. The teddy had a WSU T-shirt (that's the school that B3 is currently going to) and a button inside that when hit it would make the sound like a beating heart. I absolutely loved the teddy. I also have no imagination when it comes to names, so the teddy's name became Teddy.
Later on that day, B3 and I took our relationship to the next level and hit second base. When we were taking a break at one point I was laying on top of him thinking about how much I loved him. He knew I was thinking about something and asked what, so I looked up at him and told him that I really liked him. Without missing a beat after that he told me that he loved me. I smiled a goofy smile, and instead of saying "I love you too" like I should have, I said "that's really what I was thinking about". Later on I did say that I loved him, but in that moment I didn't, which is something that sticks out to me.
Our 3 month anniversary also stands out in my memory. It was 4 days before he left for college and we wanted it to be really special. The day started off really early because I had asked him to help me take my family to the airport (they were leaving for Europe and I couldn't come because I had to go to college). Then we went out to breakfast as a treat of my parents. After that we both went home and either slept or did chores in his case. For the actual date he planned everything except for my particular request to go to a drive in movie that night. He picked me up in his little green truck and took me along a road I didn't recognize. When we finally got to our destination I was stunned that I actually knew where we were. He had taken me to Red Robin and we ate dinner there. Afterwards he blindfolded me (much to my protests) and drove me somewhere else. When we reached our destination he told me to keep the blindfold on, but I protested so much that he said "Ok, you can take it off, but you have to keep your eyes closed." I agreed and let him lead me into the store. What he had ended up doing was taking me to See's candies and he told me to pick out a box of chocolates. After that we went to the movie.
I got to be the one to plan all the details of the movie. I chose to go to a double feature of Eclipse and Inception. The reason I had wanted to go to the drive in movie so bad was because I wanted to have as much time as possible with B3 before he left, and the movie went way into the night. I also got to have the chance to lay down and cuddle with him without adult supervision around. That night we hit 2 and a half bases which is as far as we ever got.
When the movie ended it was late and we were both tired. He drove me home, and as we got closer and closer to home I started becoming more and more upset because I wasn't sure I'd see him again before he left for college. I tried as hard as I could not to cry with him still around, and I actually managed it that night. When he kissed me good bye and left I couldn't hold it in any longer. I was home alone so to me I was allowed to cry as much as I needed, and at that moment in time I really needed to cry.
Two days later B3 texted me at about 11 and asked if I wanted to go to the midnight release of Eat, Pray, Love and of course I said yes. It was the day before he was supposed to leave, so I knew it would be my last chance with him for a month at least. During the movie he seemed rather moody and upset with almost everything I did, and when it came time for him to go home I was really upset. This time I couldn't resist crying around him, but he isn't exactly the best comfort in the world. He tried to comfort me, but it really didn't help much. When I went home, I once again balled myself to sleep.
After he went to college would be when our relationship started to fall apart. Long distance relationships are particularly hard, and ours wasn't exempt from that quality. I'll explain exactly how bad the time leading up to the break up, and the after affects of it in my next blog. I think this one is long enough as it is. :)
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