I couldn't sleep tonight so I decided to continue telling my story.
There were some things I forgot to mention in the last post. The first of which is the fact that B3 was incredibly sweet and romantic all of the time. Giving me a rose when we first started dating was not the only time I got a rose from him. For my birthday he gave me a dozen roses that I let die and then put all of the petals (that still held their shape) into a basket. He also gave me a rose that he had actually grown from his own plant. It was the first rose that had bloomed that year, sadly I forgot it at his house that day and wasn't able to press it like I had done with the first rose. The next rose he gave me was a replacement for the one that I had left at his house. He gave it to me right before he left for college.
One day I intend to make a scrap book of roses where one page will be dedicated to my Grandmother (rose from her funeral), my step-mother (a rose from her garden), and to B3. Roses have a symbolic meaning specifically to me, and even without knowing it B3 stumbled upon it. I love roses because they are love in and of themselves.
Another thing I forgot to mention was that when B3 and I didn't go outside at his house, we ended up inside cuddling on his bed while watching movies. For the first two months when we were inside all we did was watch the movie, completely innocent, but after the second month anniversary we ended up not actually watching the movie so much. It was during those movie sessions that I learned a lot and discovered more about myself.
Now to continue with the story that I was telling before:
After B3 went to college there was a lot of tension between the two of us. The week leading up to him leaving I was extremely clingy and wanted to spend every moment I could with him, but he was the opposite and claimed that we needed to adjust to seeing each other less and less so that it wasn't as big of a shock when we had to go a month without seeing each other. I thought that was a load of BS and said so, but B3 didn't really respond to it that much. He just put his foot down and said that we were only allowed to hang out 3 times in the last week and a half before he left.
The week after we left there was something a little bit off about our relationship but it wasn't entirely too bad. After a while I started to miss him and jokingly suggested that I visit him the following weekend. Well, what started out as a joke ended up becoming an actual idea. I was home alone so I had to make sure that someone else would take care of the animals while I was gone, and I had to figure out how to get to WSU from my home, but I was determined to visit him. Two days before I left though B3 and I had another argument. He really wanted to work out with me but i'm so insecure with my body that I don't feel comfortable working out in front of someone that I actually like. I also have never really lifted weights and he wanted to do that during the work out. Another problem I kept thinking of would be showering afterwards. I didn't want to go up to a different floor in his dorm filled with girls that I don't know to shower. It just sounded super awkward and I simply didn't want to experience that. I told him absolutely no to working out with him and that frustrated the hell out of him. He also wanted me to go to a party with him which is something else I was horribly uncomfortable with. I have never actually danced with a guy, and I don't want my first time to be during a drunk-fest. He didn't understand that but he was more accepting of that than of me saying no to working out with him. By the end of the conversation he had basically told me to just stay home. I was so upset by this that I tried to ignore him the rest of the night, but that didn't work because he was determined to fix our argument. When I got back online for us to talk about it the problem was mostly resolved. I told him I didn't really care whether we played video games all night so long as I was with him.
When I actually visited him more problems seemed to arise. At first it seemed like he was completely ignoring me because he was playing video games the whole time and not even talking to me, so I got frustrated. When he said that he was going to go work out I said "ok, I'll go see my friend then" because I had promised another friend, Loud-Mouth, that I was going to go visit her. He got pissed and just said "fine", so I left and went to visit my friend. I ended up having dinner with her and then afterwards when I called B3 to let me back into his building he said "Not right now, I'm in the middle of a game." I got annoyed and decided to just sneak into his building when someone else opened the door. When I got upstairs he wasn't there and I asked his roommate where he was. Apparently he was just joking and he had gone to let me in.
That night we ended up going to a party that ended up being a dud. The whole time B3's group of friends kept scouting out girls and pointing out their good and bad qualities. Needless to say it didn't do well for my own self confidence and I started to get more upset. After all the guys had decided that the party was dumb and boring they went to play video games at some other guys apartment. On the way there I stopped and mumbled to B3 that I didn't want to play video games anymore. He stopped walking and told me to just tell him what I wanted to do. I told him I didn't really know what to do so he got even more frustrated. He texted his friends to just go on without him and he and I started walking back to his dorm room. He was upset on the walk back and so was I so we got into yet another argument. Thankfully by the time we got back to his dorm the argument was resolved. The rest of the night ended up being a good time. We "watched a movie" and we ended up going to bed around 3 am.
I didn't sleep well that night because of cramped up limbs, but I loved being able to fall asleep cuddling the guy I loved. I also was terrified that I'd fall off of his bunked bed, but that didn't bother me too much with his arms around me. I woke up early the next day though because I couldn't sleep well and we ended up fooling around again even though his roommate was in the room. B3 asked his roommate later if he had heard anything, and thankfully he hadn't. I left around 11am and had a safe trip home.
Due to the fact that I was clingy during the week leading up to B3's departure and that I was unwilling to do the things that he wanted to do with me when I visited him B3 started to become more and more annoyed with me. When B3 becomes annoyed with someone he starts to ignore them. After that I became more and more upset with him because he wasn't talking to me as much as I wanted him too. It all came down to one day when he got so incredibly annoyed that he decided to actually talk to me. We ended up talking pretty late into the night and our argument was resolved. I promised I would trust him more and not be as sarcastic (I get sarcastic when mad) and he promised that he would try and talk to me more.
For a while our relationship was pretty solid. We'd have arguments on occasion, but they were never that bad. The whole time I was busy trying to plan for my next visit. I missed him a lot and so hoped to visit him on the 3 day weekend I had coming up. Sadly I wasn't able to get home in time, so I had to tell him I couldn't visit him that weekend. I ended up having to wait two more weeks after that until the weekend of September 17th to visit him. I took a train home, spent the night at my mom's house, and then headed out the next morning at 10 am to visit him.
I drove about 90 mph on the high way to get there because I was so excited to see him. I had promised him this time that I would exercise with him and go to a party. I had also bought a special outfit that I wanted to wear for him when his roommate wasn't around. When I got there I didn't tell him, instead I snuck into the building like I had before and went up to his room to surprise him. He didn't seem that surprised though because he knew I was coming and had an idea as to when I'd be there. He had intentions of kicking his roommate out when I got there, but that plan failed because his roommate had a friend over and the friend had brought everyone food. So we waited about half an hour until his roommate left before we started having some fun.
When B3's roommate left I quickly lost a lot of my clothing and so did he. We had a lot of pent up passion from not being able to touch each other for the past month. What sucked though was the fact that B3's roommate wasn't entirely done getting all of his stuff from the room. After I had successfully undressed B3 all the way there was a knock at the door and someone demanding to get in. There was a little bit of panic time while B3 searched for his clothes and I pulled the blanket up to cover my body. When he let his roommate in I'm sure that my face was as red as a beet, but thankfully they (his roommate had brought friends) didn't look at me that much. They just talked to B3 casually and looked around the room for the things that they needed to grab. At one point they seemed to be taking up way too much time so B3 started making little coughing sounds to let them know that they were being waaaay awkward. One of the roommates friends got the hint and hurried him out of the room, but the mood had died substantially. We ended up getting it back a little bit, but not nearly as much as it was before. After about a half our more we ended up stopping and he went to take a shower while I changed. He wanted us to go to the gym after that, but I got super worried and stressed and said no. If he had begged a little bit I would have caved, especially since I had put on my exercise clothes expecting him to beg a little, but he never did. Instead, after his shower we watched Avatar the Last Airbender while cuddling on the floor.
I was super tired by this point because I hadn't been getting much sleep recently and the night before I had gotten only about 4 hours, so I tired to fall asleep while cuddled up next to B3, but he ended up getting annoyed. At one point he just stopped the movie and got up and told me to take a nap on the bed while he studied his math for the midterm he had the next week. I was kind of shocked but I went with it anyway. He doesn't know this, but I actually cried a little bit when he told me to nap and turned out the lights. I ended up not being able to sleep, so he decided that we would visit some of his friends. He took me to meet his friends Jack and Rene. They were sleeping though due to a heavy hang over so instead we went to dinner.
When we got back from dinner B3's roommate had returned along with all of his friends (who also happened to be B3's friends). They decided to play video games for the rest of the night until the parties started. I had told B3 that I would go and I knew I couldn't back out of this one. At 9pm the group set out to greek row to see what parties they could get into. They thought it was going to be a byob type party and so didn't actually bring any money for admittance, and when they got there they were told that they had to leave. B3 wanted to just go back to his dorm and grab money and then return to the party, but the rest of the group decided that they would just drink in the room and so B3 went along with that.
Upon returning to the dorm the group headed to the small store that stayed open 24/7 and bought various kinds of soda. I got orange soda to use as a mixer with the rum we were to drink later that night. When we got upstairs to B3's room the guys locked the door and started pouring the drinks. B3 wanted to start me out slow because I had never drunk before and I was afraid so he put about 3/4 of a shot of Captain Morgan's Rum into a glass of orange soda and told me to drink. I quickly downed that so he added another shot and mixed in the rest of my soda. He hadn't expected me to actually get drunk that night, just be able to feel the alcohol affect me a little bit. Funnily enough though, I did get drunk. The room spun and I didn't have good balance. I found lots of things funny, and I even started talking to one of B3's friends. He had gotten on Facebook and had decided to add me as a friend. Later on B3 though I might get hurt if I kept trying to stand so he made me sit on the bed with him. I was tired so instead I just scooted down his body (I was leaning on his chest while sitting in front of him) and resting my head on his upper thigh. I was so tired and started to drift off every now and then, but eventually he had to get up to go to the bathroom. When he left for the bathroom he told me to stay put. I didn't want to listen to everything he said, so I got off the bed and walked into his closet to hide. When he got back he asked the guys in the room where I had gone and they told him (tattle tales). He was really confused as to why I had decided to hide there and as he pulled me out his roommate thought that I had actually gone in there to cry and made it sound like I was pathetic.
After B3 pulled me out of the closet though we decided to go and get some food to quench the drunchies that apparently everyone else had gotten. We went to a small store near by and got tator tots. I was extremely tired by this point and also pretty drunk so I was slurring words and constantly resting my head on B3's shoulder. After we were done eating we decided to go back to the dorm room and I changed into PJ's for bed. B3 made the other guys leave the room and then he curled up in bed with me. Sadly, I have problems sleeping and once again my limbs cramped up and I needed to get up and get ibuprofen. I also ended up drinking some more water before I climbed back into bed. At one point I ended up feeling sick in the night after B3 had fallen asleep and so I sat up and curled up in a corner of the bed against the wall until the nausea went away. It went away in a bit and I was able to curl back up with B3 and fall asleep for a couple more hours.
I had to wake up at 7 the next morning though because I had to leave by 8 (or so I thought) because I had to be back to my moms to catch a train home by 6 that night and I didn't want to risk being late. When I woke up the next morning I had to go to the bathroom, so I quietly snuck out of the room to go upstairs and use the girls bathroom on that floor. When I came back B3 was awake and he scooted over so that I didn't have to crawl over him to get back on the bed. We ended up fooling around for a little bit, but eventually I had to get up and change. B3 stared at me the whole time that I was changing, but I didn't care at all. I actually found it really funny and starting smiling a goofy smile.
When it came time for me to leave I packed up all my stuff and B3 walked me out to my car. My car had a low tire though and so I asked B3 to come with me to fill up the tire and I'd take him to McDonalds too. He agreed and so we headed off to a gas station together. He filled up my tire for me and at McDonalds he bought me a smoothie for breakfast. We actually spent an hour there and I ended up not leaving Pullman until around 10 am. I was definitely running late and so didn't have time to say a nice good bye to B3, but we quickly kissed and he jumped out of my car when I took him back to his dorm.
I had a safe, but long ride home and texted B3 on and off during that time. The very next night he dumped me, on Facebook, at midnight, the day before midterms.
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